Did you expect a Disney Dog when you got your first dog? The dog that senses our sadness, trots over, places a perfect paw on our knee and somehow heals the entire emotional burden we have carried for years. You know the one, Disney sold it to us, and we all bought it because the idea feels so very warm and hopeful.
The problem is that our real dogs are not built for that role, and most of them can’t handle it, and here at Honest Hounds, we see the fallout in reactivity, stress and anxiety. They are not responsible for our healing, they cannot pull us out of the metaphorical well like Lassie, and they should not be expected to carry the weight of our trauma, no matter how cute they are.
We are living through a time where human mental health is under more strain than ever. The World Health Organisation reported a 25% increase in anxiety and depression during the first year of the pandemic, and the increase has not returned to baseline. UK data from 2023 shows that one in six adults experiences moderate to severe depressive symptoms. These numbers are real, and they are rising, which means more people are turning to their dogs for emotional support that they were never trained to provide.
It is important to recognise that some dogs are specifically trained to support human health needs, but these dogs represent a very small and highly selected group. Therapy dogs, assistance dogs and medical alert dogs undergo careful breeding, structured socialisation and extensive training to prepare them for this work. Demand for these dogs has increased in recent years, but so have the standards required to protect both human and canine welfare. Our Head Behaviourist, Jess P, has raised multiple litters of future therapy dogs and understands first-hand how intensive the process is. Selection is strict, training is ongoing, and not every dog is suited to the role, even with the best start.
Jess explains, pet dogs can absolutely offer comfort, grounding and companionship. That is part of the human-dog bond. However, therapy dogs and animals used within clinical or assisted therapy settings are in a completely different category. These dogs are behaviourally stable, carefully assessed and supported by trained handlers within structured environments. Clear welfare protocols are in place to ensure the dog is not overwhelmed. It is not simply a case of a friendly dog being labelled a therapy dog. The role carries responsibility, safeguards and limits, all designed to protect the dog as much as the person they are helping.
Regardless of if they have had formal training, dogs can smell changes in human cortisol levels, which means they can detect when our stress rises. A 2022 study from Linköping University tested both human and canine hair samples and found that dogs often synchronise their long term stress levels with their owners. Additionally, research from Queen’s University Belfast in 2023 found that dogs can detect acute cortisol changes in sweat and breath with high accuracy which is why so many trained medical alert dogs are so successful. This matters because your dog not only notices your stress, they feel it too, and if they do not have the training or the emotional stability to manage that information, it can bleed into their behaviour. We see it all the time in the dogs we work with, increased reactivity, clinginess, hypervigilance, disrupted sleep, guarding tendencies and difficulty settling.
Most dogs cannot, and should not, carry the emotional load of their household. They can be our companions, our hiking buddies, our comfort, but they cannot be our therapists. It is not fair and it is not safe. What they can do is bond with us, connect with us and bring real joy to our lives in ways that ask far less of them and give far more back and we’re pretty passionate about strengthening that bond as much as possible in a healthy way for both the human and the dog.
With that in mind, here are some ways to build that connection without placing them in a role they were never designed for:
1) Enjoy low-pressure walks. Go somewhere quiet, let them sniff, let them explore and allow yourself to be present with them. It gives them the sensory enrichment they need and gives you the space to slow your breathing and regulate without leaning on them to fix anything. Our Partnership Project is packed full of insights and support to help you get on track with your dog. Find our free resource to get started here.
2) Create shared routines that feel grounding for both of you. Five minutes of calm touch, a gentle game or a predictable bedtime routine can do far more for your relationship than expecting your dog to absorb your emotional storms, and it will be great for them too. Our Conditioned Relaxation course focuses on supporting you in regulating your dog’s feelings and emotions, but it will benefit you hugely too.
3) Give them healthy outlets. Many dogs struggle not because they dislike us but because their own needs are unmet. Play, movement, breed-specific activities and rest are powerful ways to build connection without emotional overload. We have a great Breed Specific Needs Mini-Course included in our Education Membership if you’re not sure how to tap into your dog’s specific needs.
4) Build skills together. Short training sessions that focus on curiosity and problem-solving can bring you closer without forcing the dog into a support role.
5) Invest in your own well-being. Therapy, community, journaling, movement, medication and support networks exist for a reason. When you look after yourself your dog comes out of survival mode too. This is one of the reasons we work with a team of therapists at Honest Hounds, because healing should never be placed solely on the shoulders of a dog.
At Honest Hounds, we work with the whole picture because dogs do not live in isolation. They live inside our routines, our patterns, our relationships and our emotional worlds, and sometimes it gets tough for all of us. This is why we have a dedicated mental health space packed full of webinars and resources, no matter what tier you’re on and a team of mental health practitioners who work alongside our dog training and behaviour team. Owners deserve support just as much as their dogs do. When both sides of the partnership are held, understood and supported, the progress becomes steadier, and the relationship becomes stronger in a way that is sustainable for everyone. If you’re lacking that support, we’ve got a whole community to help, and we’d love you to join us.
